http://www.outagainstabuse.com/2008/03/30/why-do-they-stay/ Act Out, Speak Out, Reach Out Fri, 21 Nov 2008 14:38:26 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.1 http://www.outagainstabuse.com/2008/03/30/why-do-they-stay/#comment-123 SeenTheLight Sun, 20 Apr 2008 13:42:53 +0000 http://www.outagainstabuse.com/2008/03/30/why-do-they-stay/#comment-123 Love has seen the picture clearly. Abuse is a pattern of behavior, a way of being. As such, getting out of it requires one to restructure their personality to be able to see how to respond and build a whole new set of life responses. Abuse is driven by control and domination over a weaker personality. Women are very vunerable especially when having children or grandchildren involved. Learing how to be a loving person in any culture requires people to learn how to be loving. Making anyone bow to culture is not loving, it is brainwashing and domination. Culture is a god. Cultures form like any animal norm and establish boundaries as the group sees fit to survive. Love has seen the picture clearly. Abuse is a pattern of behavior, a way of being. As such, getting out of it requires one to restructure their personality to be able to see how to respond and build a whole new set of life responses. Abuse is driven by control and domination over a weaker personality. Women are very vunerable especially when having children or grandchildren involved. Learing how to be a loving person in any culture requires people to learn how to be loving. Making anyone bow to culture is not loving, it is brainwashing and domination. Culture is a god. Cultures form like any animal norm and establish boundaries as the group sees fit to survive.

]]> http://www.outagainstabuse.com/2008/03/30/why-do-they-stay/#comment-104 Love Wed, 02 Apr 2008 20:22:01 +0000 http://www.outagainstabuse.com/2008/03/30/why-do-they-stay/#comment-104 I think something overlooked is the most astonishing: love. Despite being treated so badly at their hands, a lot of victims really love their abusers and care about them. That is what unfortunately often blinds them to their circumstances and leads many victims to go back to their abusers. I think the hardest thing to realize is that someone who doesn't love you and give you the same amount of respect that you know and deserve isn't someone who is worthy of your love. I think something overlooked is the most astonishing: love. Despite being treated so badly at their hands, a lot of victims really love their abusers and care about them. That is what unfortunately often blinds them to their circumstances and leads many victims to go back to their abusers. I think the hardest thing to realize is that someone who doesn’t love you and give you the same amount of respect that you know and deserve isn’t someone who is worthy of your love.

]]> http://www.outagainstabuse.com/2008/03/30/why-do-they-stay/#comment-103 Neeraj Mon, 31 Mar 2008 15:54:30 +0000 http://www.outagainstabuse.com/2008/03/30/why-do-they-stay/#comment-103 I think the main two reasons are fear of the situation getting worse and being alone. No one likes being alone and having to fend for themselves, especially when there are children involved. In our society, I think its felt that when a marriage ends, its because the people involved are considered truants and cowards. I think the fear of intensifying violence and the fear of being alone and rejected by socitey pushes many women to remain in an abusive situation. When the alternative seems so harsh, it must seem like they have no choice. I think the main two reasons are fear of the situation getting worse and being alone. No one likes being alone and having to fend for themselves, especially when there are children involved. In our society, I think its felt that when a marriage ends, its because the people involved are considered truants and cowards. I think the fear of intensifying violence and the fear of being alone and rejected by socitey pushes many women to remain in an abusive situation. When the alternative seems so harsh, it must seem like they have no choice.

]]> http://www.outagainstabuse.com/2008/03/30/why-do-they-stay/#comment-102 Jasmine Mon, 31 Mar 2008 12:40:26 +0000 http://www.outagainstabuse.com/2008/03/30/why-do-they-stay/#comment-102 1. Brain washed by the abuser to the point where the victim blames themself for the abuse. 2. Social pressures of having a healthy relationship - the "divorce stigma" in our society. 3. Hope that this the last time and it will get better with time. 4. Fear of what the abuser will do when the victim leaves the relationship as many abusers are violent & possessive. 1. Brain washed by the abuser to the point where the victim blames themself for the abuse.
2. Social pressures of having a healthy relationship - the “divorce stigma” in our society.
3. Hope that this the last time and it will get better with time.
4. Fear of what the abuser will do when the victim leaves the relationship as many abusers are violent & possessive.

]]>